Friday, June 24, 2011

over and over again

"over and over again these past days, away from you, I’ve had a lot of time to think. in between my heart and my head screaming I miss you I miss you I miss you I’ve honestly considered what would happen if I let you go. if I told you to move on, to go meet acceptable Muslim girls in college, girls you can have a future with. and every time I’ve ended up with my fist in my mouth, screaming in pain, partially because I feel so honest to god selfish for being too weak to do so, and partially because the thought of losing you is as scary as the thought of dying, if not more.

I love you.

three words that have been so overused in today’s society. we “love” our friends who we secretly know talk shit about us behind our backs. we “love” Adele and Harry Potter and that shade of nail polish and our new car and our phone…you get the picture. love is such a wide breadth of emotion, used for so many degrees. but loving you is indefinite…the forever kind of love. when I say I love you, I mean I love you and that will never change, no matter what happens to us in life. I love you for all your flaws, because they make you everything I want and more. I love you now and I loved you then and a part of me will always love you, regardless. I love your smile and your laugh and the way your eyes crinkle when you laugh and your voice. I love you.

I don’t know if it’s safe to love someone as much as I love you. but safe is the farthest thing from how I feel. I took the fall, and I’m in deeper now than I have ever been. every day, I fall more in love with you, with the little things you do, the little things you say or text me throughout the day to keep me sane. no matter how selfish this love is, it’s honest. it’s the one emotion that I’ve let in after so long, and I can’t deny it anymore, even to myself, much less you.

and in 43 days, I’ll see your smile again. I’ll hear your laugh again, and your voice, and the way you say dusset dharam and ashegtam and just simply I love you. and it’ll stay with me forever, because every moment I spend with you is the next best moment of my life."

-a 15 year old girl named mauna who is mature beyond her years.
she owns the tumblr  we are marching on.
"'i'm on the pursuit of happiness. i am not my disease."

1 comment:

tell me what's on your mind.